Spirit Thief The other stories
by Nanuk
Summary: Just what the title says ... some little stories ...
1. Chapter 1

I wrote a couple of little stories that somehow fit into the time frame of my story Spirit Thief. The first two are the ones that made me write SP, the other ones came into existence because I wasn't able to let go of my favourite family. :)))

Hope you enjoy.

Nanuk

Disclaimer: No, don't own any of them, except perhaps Little Jamie. :)

xxx

Cookies in the Bowl

x

Hoss Cartwright tiptoed through the door, holding the little boy's hand tightly in his, determined to get past HopSing and to the bowl of cookies standing in plain sight on the kitchen table.

His stomach almost rumbled with anticipation but with sheer power of mind he willed it to be quiet. HopSing was known to hear mice sneezing under the floorboards, and the last thing he wanted was to draw attention to himself before he was ready.

Steadily he made his way nearer and nearer to the bowl, ignoring the constant tugging at his hand that tried to get his attention, his whole line of thought on the treat in front of him.

Then, all of a sudden, the floor creaked. With a small yelp of surprise, HopSing whirled around, holding a large kitchen knife in his outstretched hand. Hoss froze where he stood.

With a deep sigh, HopSing lowered the knife and threw the boy a sharp glance before he glared at Hoss.

"You teaching boy nonsense?" he demanded to know. Hoss went bright red.

"Uhm, no, see…little Jamie here was hungry an' I thought I'd get him something nice an' warm and …," he finished lamely and avoided looking at Jamie who, although he didn't say anything, stared at Hoss with eyes that promised retribution later. Hoss gulped.

HopSing smiled. It was clear from the little scamp's expression that he didn't like being used – no matter what the reason. Another thing he did just like …

He took the bowl from the table and offered it to a beaming Jamie. The boy took two, politely thanked HopSing and gave one to Hoss who didn't think he could feel more embarrassed.

From the doorway came a deep laugh. Startled, all of them turned. Ben grinned and lifted his hands in apology.

"I happened to stop by and just wanted to see whether HopSing needed any help."

Fondly he stroked the little boy's cheek.

"Why don't you go out and see whether Joe needs any help with the horses?" he asked.

Jamie eagerly looked at him. "May I?"

Waiting for Ben's nod, he turned to the door, but stopped halfway and turned to HopSing.

"May I have another cookie," he asked, "for Joe?"

The cook grinned and offered the bowl, then watched with Ben and Hoss as the dark head disappeared through the door.

Hoss shook his head in wonderment. He looked at Ben and noticed the faraway look on his father's face. He smiled sadly.

"He's a lot like him, isn't he, Pa?" he asked quietly. "A lot like Adam."

Ben, startled awake, lifted his gaze and Hoss could see that his eyes were wet. He had been thinking of the grave on the hillside, too.

Ben sighed and gave Hoss a tiny smile.

"Yes. Very much like him.

So very much."

xxx

The End

The end


	2. Little One

Author's note: The second of the stories that triggered Spirit Thief. :)) It was written for a picture challenge that had Hoss riding with a little lad beside him.

xxx

"Hoss, I've been thinking…"

Hoss grinned. The little lad sure was a lot like his father. As calm and well-behaved as he was, he also had the inquiring and curious nature of another Cartwright son.

"What's it then, Jamie?"

When the boy didn't answer at first, Hoss threw him a glance. He thought he knew what this conversation was going to be about. Some days ago, his father had brought up the topic of Christmas approaching, and since then Jamie had been unusually quiet, even for him. He had started to watch everyone in the family, his big dark eyes following every move and turn.

They had smiled at each other, remembering how Joe at that age had wanted to find out where his presents had been hidden, and tried not to let on anything.

"Hoss…"

Hoss grinned to himself. He cleared his throat, then nodded to Jamie to go on.

Then, as if he had been deciding whether to say anything or not, Jamie looked up and met Hoss' eyes straight on. His face was serious.

"If I want something to happen, and I think of it real strong and am a good boy…you think it will come true?"

"Sure." Hoss secretly wondered what kind of present Jamie wanted that he gave it so much thought. While the boy never really wanted anything for himself, he did accept gifts when they were offered to him.

Not wanting to have Jamie brooding too much, Hoss decided to cheer him up a bit.

"And know what? We will have a big tree, and lots of presents for everyone, and HopSing will cook a wonderful meal." At that, Hoss' stomach rumbled loudly with anticipation, and Jamie grinned.

Hoss laughed good-naturedly.

"Just think o' it, Little One. The pancakes and cookies, and the goose, and there will be music and singing, and candles everywhere. Just think of the sweets, and the tree and the reading of the Christmas story…" Hoss happily chatted on, without noticing that Jamie's face had become wistful again.

"Music", he muttered quietly, "yeah…," and followed Hoss home.

Ben addressed Jamie that evening after dinner. Seated in his red chair, he watched Jamie who sat opposite him, the book on his lap forgotten.

"Jamie, dear, is there something troubling you?" he asked softly. The boy lifted his eyes and glanced shyly at Ben. Then he nodded.

Inwardly Ben sighed. Sometimes he wished Jamie to be a bit more like Joe and just pour out whatever was worrying him, but obviously Jamie was just like his father, and not only in looks.

"Is it something to do with Christmas?" he ventured carefully.

Again Jamie nodded, but then he clutched the book and looked at Ben.

"Hoss said …," he swallowed, and went on, "Hoss said there would be music and…and singing at Christmas."

Ben smiled encouragingly at Jamie to go on, but he wondered where this was heading. They always had music at Christmas, and singing was as much a part of their tradition as the Christmas dinner.

Jamie clutched the book tighter. "I wanted…I wanted to ask you to sing my …," again he stopped, unsure of how to go on, but Ben suddenly knew what he wanted to ask. He stared at the fireplace, his thoughts a million miles away.

In his mind he saw a dark young man, amber eyes sparkling, singing to a small boy he held on his lap, his body glowing with joy and life. The living room had been ablaze then, with dozens of candles, filled with the fragrance of the Christmas tree and HopSing's wonderful meal, and his family had been safe. His family had been safe then.

A rough hand suddenly shook his shoulder, and Hoss' concerned eyes appeared in front of him.

"Pa? You ok?"

Ben blinked once, then looked up at Hoss.

"What…?

"Just came in as Jamie was heading outside and found you like this. Everything alright?"

Ben sat up at once and grabbed his son's arm, startling him. "Jamie is outside? Where did he go?"

"Just getting a breather. Looked a mite down, now that I think of it." Hoss cocked his head and regarded Ben who seemed lost in thoughts again. Then he looked up at Hoss and smiled sadly.

"I had forgotten," he said.

He rubbed a hand over his face, suddenly tired.

"He wants me to sing Adam's song at Christmas." Ben ignored Hoss' abrupt intake of breath and got up. "I'll go and talk to him."

Ben rounded the house and found Jamie at the back, staring hard into the distance.

He went to sit next to his grandson, and laid a hand on a frail trembling shoulder. When he spoke, he didn't look at Jamie.

"I remember when your father sang that song. His voice would touch my heart, would somehow find a way into it, and before I knew it I felt like I was going to burst with love and happiness. Then he would glance up at me, and smile, and I knew that he felt the same that I did."

Jamie looked at Ben, and if he was surprised to see tears in his grandfather's eyes, he didn't show it.

"I miss him," he said.

Ben's hand tightened. "So do I."

Then he turned to his grandson.

"I'm sorry that you can't hear him sing, Jamie." He brushed a soft cheek with his forefinger. "When he sang for you, the love in his voice would have made an angel cry."

For a moment, they didn't speak. Then Jamie laid a hand on his knee and stared at him through his long dark lashes.

"Will you sing it for me at Christmas? Please?"

Ben covered the little hand gently with his own and looked into the deep golden eyes as he answered.

"I will," he said. "I promise."

He laid his arm around the boy as he felt him snuggle against his side and felt the warmth and the tiny heartbeat under his hand.

I promise, he repeated quietly to himself, in the silence of the night.

And I won't forget.

----

The end


	3. Dreams

Author's note: Just a dream ...

xxx

"Annie, slow down!"

Ben looked up from his book when he heard Adam's soft voice. For a second he watched his son and granddaughter as they rode into the yard, then he got up to greet them.

Passing Sport, he gave the spirited animal a light pat on the rump, then held up his arms to help Annie down from her pony. A quick look into Adam's direction told him that his son was quite pleased with the progress of his daughter. Fondly Ben stroked her cheek.

"Well, did you beat Sport?"

Annie cast a quick, suspicious look in Adam's direction before she answered.

"No. Pa doesn't let me race."

Ben would have liked to laugh out loud when he saw Annie's pouting face, but years of practice with his sons had taught him to control his expressions.

"And he is absolutely right, little miss. You're still not safe enough in the saddle." Ben lifted his gaze and grinned when he heard Adam snort. "And apart from that, Sport has much longer legs than Hopper – he'd beat every horse." He clapped Adam on the back and winked conspiratorially at Annie.

"Except Cochise, of course." He laughed when his eldest son raised his dark brows in mock protest, his hands on his hips. Annie giggled. Adam grinned in response, then lightly slapped her behind.

"Go and take care of Hopper, Missy. Mind you bed him down properly like I showed you. I'll be right along." Lovingly he gazed at the bobbing ponytail of his daughter when she led the animal towards the barn.

"She's a little whirlwind."

"You can say that again, Pa." Adam laughed and patted Sport's neck. "I never know what she has in store next."

"Don't worry," Ben squinted his eyes and appraised Adam from head to toe. "You survived Joe's and Jamie's pranks. It can't get much worse than that."

Adam stood still and stared at his father, his amber eyes glittering. Finally he took a deep breath, but Ben could tell he was amused. "You have no idea, Pa."

"No?" Critically Ben looked at his son. Adam grinned and rubbed his neck, almost self-consciously. But before he could reply, Jamie darted from the house, his cheeks reddened, his eyes sparkling.

"Grandpa! GRANDPA!"

"WHAT?" Ben bolted upright in bed, his heart beating in his throat. For a second he was confused, but when his eyes took in the familiar surroundings of his room, the furniture, his treasured possessions, he leant back into the pillow, the dampness of his sweat-soaked shirt clinging to his skin, making him shiver.

"Dear God!" His hands searched for the sheet underneath him and clasped it tight. All of a sudden, his chest seemed too narrow to hold his wildly-beating heart, but all he could concentrate on were the images of his dream he could see before him, so vivid, so real. Shaking, he drew a deep breath and tried to calm down.

He didn't know how long he lay like that, trying to achieve some semblance of order to his thoughts. Shreds of his dream were floating in his memory, denying him his sleep. Finally he rubbed a hand over his eyes and got up, knowing he would spend the rest of the night in front of the fireplace. It had been a long time since he had dreamed of Adam, but experience had taught him that he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. Slowly he lumbered down the hallway towards the staircase, but then he suddenly paused.

Carefully he opened a door and peeked inside. A sad smile played on his lips when he saw 5-year-old Jamie in his nest of rumpled bedding and the tangle of jet-black curls on the pillow.

"Sleep well, lad," he whispered softly. "I wish your father were here."

The end


	4. Joe's Plan

This was inspired by the pic featuring party guests leaving the ranch house.

xxx

Joe went down the hallway, whistling as he did. In his mind he went over the events of the last days and silently sighed to himself. Having two women visit had been a nice change to the usual routine – but after more than a week, their almost incessant chatter had begun to go even on _his_ nerves. The moment when his family had finally been able to escort the ladies to their waiting buggy had been most welcome to everyone in the family. Relieved beyond words, Joe had slumped down on the porch, and just sat still, enjoying the silence. And then, very slowly, his spirit had re-woken, suddenly remembering the fun that waited for him in Virginia City. He had jumped up and rubbed his hands. Yeah, he would enjoy himself immensely. And now, there was just one other thing he needed…

"Rebecca? Have you seen my shirt?" Joe's curly head popped up at the doorframe of Adam's and Rebecca's bedroom. He grinned widely when he saw his oldest brother sitting on a corner of the bed, covered in freshly washed laundry, looking desperate in consequence. Rebecca was obviously trying to sort out a few things. She turned at the sound of Joe's voice and gave him a warm smile, then winked.

"You are just in time," she said, "to rescue your brother. He's going to bolt any moment now."

Joe crossed his arms and grinned at Adam's pained expression. "Looks like you are enjoying yourself. No wonder you no longer want to come to the dances with us."

He ducked when Adam lifted what looked suspiciously like a clout and made to throw it at him. At the last second Rebecca grabbed the material from him, and Joe snickered to see the surprise in Adam's eyes, only to let out a small yelp of surprise when Rebecca turned and playfully slapped the clout over his arm herself.

"Why did you come again?" She put her hands on her hips and glared at him, but her eyes twinkled.

"He wants to see some serious work done," Adam put in helpfully, and held up an undergarment that was definitely female. The reactions were instantaneous. Rebecca snatched the pale ivory clothe and hid it in a drawer; Joe, his cheeks flaming, tried to look anywhere but the bed. Adam grinned viciously. He had obviously decided to enjoy himself.

"Why did you come in the first place?" he inquired smugly.

"I …have you seen my shirt?" Joe carefully tried to lift his gaze again. "The one with the …

"…the frills?" Again Adam interrupted. He raised an eyebrow at Joe who shot him a furious look, then laughed out loud when Rebecca stamped her foot.

"It's enough," she said and resolutely pointed to the door. "Out, before you do any more mischief just because you are bored."

Adam put out his bottom lip, looking like a pouting child, and stayed where he was. "I wasn't bored before he … ," he nodded in Joe's direction, "… choose to interrupt us."

Rebecca started to collect the clothes, completely ignoring her sulking husband. "You are impossible today." She sorted out a white shirt and held it up for Joe to inspect. "This one?"

He nodded, then creased his forehead when he saw the wrinkles. Rebecca saw his look and grinned. She held out her hand.

"I make you a deal. You get your brother out of here before he really gets on my nerves, and I iron your shirt for you before you go to town."

Joe immediately held out his own hand, but before he could grab Becky's, Adam spoke up again.

"Considered that you do his laundry anyway, that's not a very good deal, you know." Lazily he smiled at his wife who by now was turning slowly but surely red with anger. Joe hastily grabbed Adam's arm and almost dragged him off the bed before he got into serious trouble. Adam laughed out loud and let himself be taken away, but just before they had reached the door, he shook himself loose and turned back to Rebecca.

Joe cast a frustrated glance down the hallway in search for help, then ran his hands through his hair and turned back to his brother. From the corner of his eyes he saw that Adam let his hand ran tenderly over Rebecca's bodice and Joe hastily averted his eyes. He stepped out into the hall and closed the door behind him.

"I'll come back for the shirt later," he called, but didn't receive an answer. Whistling softly under his breath he went in search for Jamie, while in his mind he made his plans for the evening.


	5. The bear

xxx

Hoss rode into the yard, smiling down at Adam when he dismounted.

"I see ya got yaself a place in the sun, brother," he said while he fastened Chubb's reins, then went over to his brother on the porch.

'Adam looked happy,' he thought when he glanced at him. Obviously freshly bathed, his jet-black hair gleamed in the sun, and wet curls still clung to his neck. His face was relaxed, his eyes were alight with life.

Hoss clapped him lightly on the shoulder, then sat down next to Adam and reached with one hand for the book open in Adam's lap.

"Becky allowed you to read?" he asked teasingly and laughed when he saw Adam's raised brow. The sight delighted him. It had been a long time since he had seen his brother so relaxed; and that he even had a book with him indicated that Adam was indeed better. Hoss felt his eyes moisten and blinked hastily.

"Pa brought you out?"

"He and HopSing," Adam shook his head in wonderment.   
"Don't ask how they did it."

He grinned at Hoss.

"Stumbled over each other, too," he confided in a whisper.

Hoss snorted amusedly. "And you enjoyed it, of course."

"Of course."

With satisfaction, Hoss noted the gleam in his brother's amber eyes. Then, with a twitch of his nose, he inhaled deeply- his face instantly dissolving into a beatific smile.

"Mmmh, smell that? Come on, brother, dinner's ready."

Not even taking notice of the twinkling in Adam's eyes, he put down Adam's book and swiftly pulled back the blanket that covered his brother. Only when his eyes fell on the tight bandage on Adam's thigh which the bear had lacerated four weeks earlier, he hesitated.

Adam reached out his hand.

"Help me up?" he asked.

Knowing how weak his brother still was from the fever that had raged in his body for the best part of those four weeks, Hoss knelt down and, putting his shoulder under Adam's armpit, carefully pulled him up. He was happy to see just a slight frown on his brother's brow, remembering how not too long ago he had winced every time they had to touch him.

"All right?" Hoss asked nevertheless, when Adam tightened his grip on his shoulder, but his brother just flashed him a grin.

"Perfect."

Slowly, step after step, they approached the front door, but before they could reach for the handle, the door was opened from the inside.

Surprised Rebecca stared at the men in front of her, then raised her brows.

"Oh good, you're coming," she said when she recovered from her shock. "Ready for dinner?"

Hoss just nodded eagerly, eyes intent on the floor while he tried to get Adam through the door frame without banging his hip. Adam, however, looked straight at Rebecca, until she blushed. When he finally answered, his voice was husky.

"Ah, I'm ready. Don't worry."

Blushing furiously, too, Hoss tried to look anywhere but his brother, but when he finally lifted his eyes, Adam winked at him.

"Let's go inside, shall we?"

"Anything you say, brother," Hoss mumbled under his breath, but he now knew his brother was indeed better - and more than ready for his life. He smiled. Dinner was waiting.

xxx

the end


	6. Return

Return

It was dark when he entered the room, and for a second he didn't see anything. The faint light that came from the moon-lighted window illuminated barely more than rough outlines, and he stopped and waited, searched with his eyes the darkest corner of the room to make them adapt to the darkness.

She was sitting the nursing chair next to the bed. Her face was half obscured by the shadows creeping from all corners of the room, but then he saw that she held Jamie on her lap, cradled his dark head on her shoulder.

"Bekka?" he asked, 'Becka,' but there was no answer, just a soft sigh in the silence of the room, and he knelt down next to her, his hand going to Jamie's small back, the warmth and steady rhythm of his son's heart under his hand oddly comforting.

But still there was no answer, and he reached up and gently touched her cheek, only to discover that she had been crying.

"Rebekka?"

"I'm angry, Adam," she whispered as not to wake Jamie, but her voice caught on a sob and he reached up to cradle her in his arms, their son between them, and held her tight.

"I know," he said and buried his lips in her hair, smelled the sweet fragrance he had feared he'd never be able to smell again, touch again, feel again.

"I'm sorry."

Rebekka just sobbed, her fingers dug into his arm and ribs as if she never wanted to let go again, and he pulled her down to him, until they were all on the ground, his wife and son nestled in his arms.

"I was so afraid," she whispered, her head so close to his neck that he could feel her breath on his skin, making him shiver. "Afraid you'd never come back, afraid I'd never see you again…"

Her hand reached for his, stroking softly the scab on his wrist where the bindings had cut through his skin, and he tightened his hold on his family when the images of those days came back to him, images of those two days bound and gagged when he didn't know whether he'd live or die, whether he' d see his family again, feel their bodies, hold them tight.

For a long time they just sat still, not moving, enjoying each other's presence, their warmth in the darkness around them. Then Rebekka squirmed softly against his body and Adam felt the heat inside him rise when her hand moved softly along him. He tried to see her face in the darkness, but just felt her heartbeat when his hand brushed over her bodice.

"I need you, Adam."

Her voice was breathless and seemed to catch in her throat, but he wasn't too sure he was able to speak even if he tried. It took only a second to tug Jamie into bed, then he turned back to his wife. He was home after all. Tomorrow he'd face the consequences of his actions and the wrath of his wife that he had risk his life. Tonight he'd enjoy the feeling to be safe and loved. Then a hand reached up and pulled him down to soft lips, and all further thought vanished from his mind.

xxx

the end


	7. Tomorrow

Tomorrow

xxx

"I thought you'd be asleep by now."

Joe was astonished to find his brother sitting on the porch, and in the darkest corner at that, but he didn't let on as he sat down on the ground next to him, lifting his head to admire the star-flecked firmament above. The clean air was intoxicating, the fresh smell of the pines around them a stark contrast to the fragrances lingering inside.

Joe leant back and inhaled deeply. He had a good idea why his brother had come out here, and his next words confirmed his suspicion.

"Just needed to clear my head a bit."

Joe nodded in the darkness, then chuckled slightly when he remembered the look on his father's face at the discovery of Adam's absence.

"Pa was worried you'd disappeared again."

An amused snort was his answer.

"Not very likely." Adam settled himself more comfortably, brushing Joe's arm as he did, and Joe noticed how cool his brother's skin was. He must have been out longer than any of them had realized. But then, with all the hectic things going on inside that was not surprising.

"What were you doing out here? Some people wouldn't like it if you caught a chill." He grinned when he heard Adam chuckle.

"Probably not."

They shared the laugh for a moment, each remembering their father's behaviour on those occasions, then grew quiet again as they both watched the moon slowly disappear behind the horizon, the orb a dark glowing red in the dark blue surrounding it.

Joe softly nudged Adam. "Wanna tell me?" he asked quietly. From Adam's reticent answers it was clear that there was something bothering him, but Joe knew that on nights like this his brother was even more taciturn and pensive than usual.

At first he wasn't sure whether his brother was going to answer at all, but the night had worked her magic, and Adam spoke softly on the breath of the wind.

"Just saying good-bye." He shrugged as if there wasn't anything more to say.

Joe didn't know how to respond. Thoughts whirled in his mind, thoughts he couldn't place, couldn't grasp, but when he turned to look at Adam, he saw despite the darkness the tiny object in his brother's palm. A ring, Ruth's ring, and suddenly he understood.

"You're saying good-bye to them, aren't you?" he asked softly. In his mind he saw the women his brother had loved – Regina, Ruth, Laura – , women he had kissed, and lost, and gently he touched his shoulder.

"You'll be a wonderful husband to Rebecca. She'll be proud to have you," he whispered and was rewarded with a flash of a smile.

"And I'm lucky to have her." Adam's voice was suddenly husky, and Joe wondered just how nervous he really was.

"That you are."

Deciding it was high time to turn in, Joe playfully slapped Adam's shoulder and got up.

"Go to bed. You don't want to be late for your own wedding, do you?"

At this, Adam laughed out loud, the tension falling away with the familiarity of paternal concern that would never stop.

"Tell Pa I'll be right in."

xxx

The end


	8. Another night

Author's note: This is the second story in the bear story cycle. :))

xxx

It was the low crying that abruptly entered Ben's mind and the hurried rustle of long skirts next to him that brought him back to reality. Wearily he rubbed a hand over his face, then stretched his tired body before he finally opened his eyes to the despairing sight he had known awaited him.

Carefully he reached out and touched his son's forehead, but there was no difference in the temperature as he had feared: the fever continued to burn in the already haggard body and there was nothing he could do.

It was already better, that was what he was telling himself again and again, better than two weeks ago when Hoss had brought Adam back from their hunting trip, his leg and hip lacerated, his side ripped open. The bear had been provoked into attacking, that was what Hoss had said, had stammered, white with shock and shivering all over, his teeth gritted against the perpetual sickness in his throat.

Joe had been there, losing colour the moment he looked at his brother, and together they had managed to get Adam into the house without hurting him any further, three men pushing through the door, stumbling along in dread and horror.

It had been two days ago, Hoss had said, since the fever had set in and the wounds began to fester. Two weeks it had been now, and Ben was numb with pain and sick with fear. Adam was better, the thick bandages on his leg and side hadn't bled through as they had only three days ago. But still Adam hadn't woken, his mind held tight by the fever dreams that exhausted his body.

Before he could sink deeper into his depressing thoughts, the door opened and Becky was back, the baby hoisted up on one shoulder, freshly fed and diapered judging from the look on his face. She gave him a small smile that he gave back whole-heartedly at the sight of little boy who was wide awake despite the lateness of the hour, then sat back down in her customary seat opposite him which she only left to eat, sleep or feed Jamie.

Ben was thankful that she was there. Over the last two weeks she had been constantly at Adam's side, and Ben knew that without her and the baby they would have lost him already. It had been her soft voice that had talked to him all throughout the night when the fever had been surging, her soft voice that had reminded him of time spent together, reminded him of his courtship, of the flowers in her hair, the baby he had held in his arms. It had been her voice that had been husky the next morning, and she had almost fainted with tiredness, but Adam had begun to fight, and the fever had gone down since then, if ever so slightly.

He still marvelled at how much Rebecca had changed since he had first been introduced to her. She had seemed shy then, delicate, and fragile, but there was a strength in her that had slowly began to surface in the months after the wedding, and never so much as over the last weeks. A strength that he had learned to appreciate and respect.

Ben cast a glance at Rebecca, who just as he looked laid little Jamie down on the bed on Adam's uninjured side. He could tell the strain of looking after a wounded husband and caring for a three-month-old baby was beginning to take its toll on her, but when she looked up, she gave him a small encouraging smile.

"I'll get you a cup of coffee," she offered and was out of the room before he could nod his thanks.

Raising his brows and shaking his head in wonderment, he silently regarded his son and the tiny baby next to him who stared back at him with his huge blue eyes, gurgling contently in his nest of blankets. When Becky had first placed him there, Ben had been astonished, but Jamie didn't seem to mind that he wasn't in his accustomed bed and had quickly fallen asleep, his head with the soft dark fuzz turned upwards as if to nestle closer to his father. But then, Ben had seldom seen a child more content than little Jamie. It seemed as if he had inherited his mother's cheerful disposition and his father's quiet happiness and Ben could feel the answering smile break out on his face every time he looked at the chubby cheeks and tiny eyebrows.

With some difficulty he heaved himself out of his chair and stretched his weary limbs, then rounded the bed to sit in Rebecca's chair where he was nearer to his grandson, checking Adam's temperature again before he settled himself.

"Any change?"

Rebecca moved into the room, carefully balancing a tray with coffee and some refreshments. When Ben shook his head, she poured two cups for them and sat down in Ben's vacated place, taking up the book she had been reading.

"Perhaps you should go to bed, Pa," she said softly after a moment's hesitation. Her dark eyes flickered to Adam, then back at his face, almost pleadingly. "Joe will be up in an hour, and I can manage till then."

Ben regarded her wordlessly. For a moment he studied her, took in the strands of hair that had escaped from her ribbon, the shadows under her eyes, the wrinkled skirt. Softly he shook his head.

"You need sleep as much as I do. I'll stay the hour."

He wanted to say so much more, wanted to say how thankful he was that she was here, but a soft gurgle from Jamie interrupted him. And when he cast a quick look at the baby, saw Adam's hand that had closed around the tiny body next to him, he didn't believe what he was seeing. Only a glance into Rebecca's beaming face told him that he wasn't dreaming, and the weight that suddenly lifted from his shoulders left him trembling with relief. Gently he reached out and stroked Jamie's cheek.

"Lad, you sure are a wonder," he whispered huskily, then watched in delight as the dark lashes fluttered over hollow cheeks, revealing the precious amber he had feared he would never see again.


	9. Rain

Rain

xxx

It was the rain that made him nervous.

Two days of pouring rain had successfully eliminated any trace that might have been there – traces that may have saved the life of his son. It seemed that all hope was lost, carried away by the waters that never seemed to end, lost like his son … if ever there had been a chance, he reminded himself with a hint of panic. If ever … but he pushed that thought away as far as he could, pushed it back into his sub-conscious, got it behind bars and willed it to stay there.

Shivering violently, he tried to pull his coat and slicker tighter around his body, but after eight hours of search he was soaked through and freezing, his limbs and mind numb. Even so, he was afraid to return home, return home and acknowledge his loss. Was afraid to face Becky and tell her that they hadn't found her husband, his son, the father of the child she was carrying.

He tried to blink the wetness from his eyes, saw Hoss and Joe just steps away from him. Two figures like drowned rats, they relentlessly searched the ground while they tried not to envision what this day could bring them. Joe turned around, the question on his face almost tangible, but all he could do was shake his head, and the gleam, visible for a second, was extinguished.

They couldn't give up. They mustn't give up.

He had spoken to Adam about the best way to approach the Whistler's about the water rights and the flume, and Adam had insisted that he would do it, knowing them as he did.

But that had been three days ago, and when, after a night spent worrying, they had inquired about him, it was clear to all that something had prevented him from making it home.

Ben pulled his soaked hat deeper down his face.

He saw Murron Whistler in his mind's eye, a small, haggard woman, heard her words in his head. She had thrown her husband fleeting glances when he told Ben that Adam had left their ranch yesterday in the early afternoon after it became clear that the rain wouldn't stop anytime soon. Ben's heart squeezed as he thought about the chances, the chances to find Adam in this weather, and in time.

Adam had taken his slicker with him, and enough food for the two days he had planned to stay out. He knew how to survive outside, knew how to keep a fire burning in the rain, knew …

Abruptly Ben came back to reality which washed over him like a flood. The rain had lessened just a bit, but it still was hard enough to see anything .. .he wondered just how long Adam would be able to survive out here … out here … the glance Murron had thrown her husband ..

He wondered …

"Pa!"

Loud calls pulled him from his thoughts.

"Pa! Come quick!"

xxx

End? Dunno yet. LOL


	10. the bear again

Author's note: This was only written because some people pestered me about the bear story. ;)) The story fought me every step and word of the way. Argh! hahaha

xxx

Had he ever been so afraid? So frightened that he didn't know what to do? So frightened that all thought had left him?

Hoss' hands were shaking, and he lost his grip again and again until the strips of cloth were soaked wet with sweat and blood.

Adam moaned with pain, and Hoss could see that he struggled to wake from the crimson fog that was clouding his mind, could see that he tried to move his head. He reached out a hand to still him, comfort him, but he would have needed that hand to hold the cloth in place that was barely stopping the bleeding.

A brilliant red welled up in front of Hoss' eyes and he could have cried with the pain that shot through his body and heart at the sight, a pain that paralysed him until his pleas were just whispers carried away by the summer wind that knew neither thought nor time.

"I got ya, brother," he mumbled, "I got ya," but the words were lost in the silence that engulfed him, threatened to tear him like the bear that had mauled his brother, that had left ruby-red marks on him with claws that had ripped the flesh off bones and torn muscles and veins.

Gore coloured the shreds of the bandage, turned white and green cotton into reds and browns, made black glistening with wetness that didn't seem to stop; it was soaking skin and clothes and ground, staining his shaking hands that would never be clean again.

Adam's cheeks and neck were already painted black-red with fingerprints where Hoss in his frantic attempts to find a pulse had smeared the blood pooling in the hollow of his brother's throat like paint on canvas.

Had the long lashes fluttered as he tightened the makeshift bandage?

"Stay with me," he prayed fervently while his fingers slipped on the blood-soiled ends of the binding that eluded his grasp and wound like snakes around his hands and wrists.

"Think of … of all the fine things you have, everythin' that's waiting for ya… think of Becky … and that little boy of yours, so tiny, a real spark of life …"

But the cloth was slippery with Adam's blood, invisible in the dark of night and difficult to hold on to, and in Hoss' mind the shadow with its claws gleaming came from the darkness, from the familiar forest which had turned against them this night and betrayed them.

Adam groaned lowly, and Hoss flinched.

He had never been so afraid. His hands were shaking when he looked at them, the knots of the dressing unravelling while he watched.

'Don't ya dare ta go,' he pleaded frantically, 'don't ya dare, dang you!'

But he was alone, and his brother's blood was saturating the earth.

It should have been nice trip. They had enjoyed a good meal, had told stories by the camp fire. A single shot in the darkness had brought them to their feet, their eyes searching the gloom until the shadows came charging and launched themselves at his brother, tearing flesh and life from his bones before he could react.

Hoss would never forgive himself for the two seconds he had been frozen, unable to move at the sight of the shocking scene in front of him. Two seconds that could have made all the difference.

His brother had lain on his side when he finally reached him, half-buried under a mountain of fur and flesh. Hoss had shoved the carcass to the side, had freed the limp body from underneath it, but the damage had been done. Adam's side was lacerated, shredded from ribs to thigh, the skin pierced, torn. Hoss had closed his eyes to swallow the sickness burning in his throat when he saw the pale ivory of bone gleaming from the dark red flesh while his brother's blood was drenching the dry soil underneath his feet.

Hoss shivered.

He cradled the dark head in his lap and wiped the damp curls off his brother's forehead, dreading the long way home.

xxx

The end


	11. Those sunny days

Those sunny days

xxx

"Now you jus' skip under them blankets and I'll give ya a quick rub off." Hoss steered a night-shirted Jamie into his room, trying not to loose the boy's clothes on the way. The dark head was still dripping from the bath Jamie had taken earlier and Hoss shooed him into bed before he dropped the garments onto a chair and started to sort them out.

"You wanted to tell me about the river, Uncle Hoss," Jamie insisted as he pulled the blanket around him. The wet strands were in his eyes and he pushed them away impatiently. "And about you and my Pa."

"Yep, that I did." Hoss' hand missed the next piece of clothing and he bent down to fetch it. When he turned around, his face showed nothing except friendly expectation.

"So, young 'un, which story you wanna hear?"

Jamie screwed up his face, excited as always at the prospect of hearing a story, then remembered the argument that had taken place when he came home and looked at Hoss, his hands unconsciously clutching the blanket.

"Tell me why Grandpa was so angry today when I told him I had been swimming."

"Oh lad," Hoss chuckled softly and sat down on the bed, passing Jamie a towel to rub his hair, "that's a very long story."

"You promised, Uncle Hoss." The boy's face was earnest, his features clearly indicating that he would take Hoss at his word.

Seeing there was no way out, Hoss settled himself against the footboard and grinned at his nephew.

"I shore did. Well then," he sat back and thought for a moment, "did ya see the big flat rock lookin' like a flapjack?" When he saw Jamie nod in response, he continued.

"Ya see, we had a good time at that place ...laughin', playin' …jus' havin' fun skippin' rocks right there…and your Pa showed me a lot of things that day." Hoss' face glowed as he remembered, and he closed his eyes as the warmth of that day flowed over him.

"It was a hard time, then. Yer Grandpa was almost never at home, always workin', tryin' ta make a livin' and get us over the winter; and when he did get home afore dark, he more often than not fell asleep right after dinner. Mornin's was the only time when we did see him, and then he mostly told us not ta be late for school." Hoss opened his eyes when he heard a faint snort and grinned broadly.

"Not changed that much, eh?" He laughed when he saw the rueful smile on his nephew's face, then frowned when he noticed that Jamie, raptly listening, held the towel still in his hands instead of rubbing his hair dry.

"Has Grandpa always been that strict?"

"Oh, he sure was." Hoss got up and tugged the blanket in around Jamie. "But you know that Grandpa is only strict when he has to be, don't ya, Jamie? He's always fair, too."

"Except when he's mad." Shoulders slumped dejectedly, the dark head bowed down as Jamie sighed, clearly remembering what had happened earlier that evening. Hoss put his hand under the boy's chin to make him look at him.

"He's only doin' what he thinks best fer ya." When Jamie didn't answer, Hoss took a deep breath.

"Grandpa loves ya, Jamie. And he loved your Pa somethin' fierce. He doesn't wanna let 'im down, and if somethin' happened to ya … " he stopped when he noticed the trembling in the line of shoulder blades that spoke of Jamie's distress.

"I know. But why was he angry when I told him I had been swimming? Did he forbid my Pa, too?" Brows drawn together, Jamie stared at Hoss, amber eyes flashing. At the sight, Hoss ignored the familiar ache in his heart and smiled.

"He did…for a time." Hoss laughed out loud when he saw the boy's confusion. Grabbing the towel, he began to deftly rub the unruly hair, but one bewildered look from under dark long lashes made him resume the story.

"As I said, times were hard for us, then. Yer Grandpa worked hard, and he s'pected us …,'en your Pa 'specially, to help. I was jus' a little feller then, but sometimes I heard people talkin' in town, saying how thin and worn out your Pa looked. I didn't notice it m'self, a' course, but when I heard them, I decided to cheer him up, an' I persuaded him to go swimmin' that very afternoon, right after school." He finished rubbing Jamie's hair dry and sat down beside him on the bed.

"See, we weren't supposed to go wandering off on our own, what with the dangers around us jus' waitin' to get us. Had to come home straight from school, then do our chores and homework. Your Pa'd help me with mine, and by then it would be almost too late to go anywhere."

"But…" The troubled frown on Jamie's face didn't go unnoticed.

"…and apart from that, we had to tell Grandpa before we went anywhere. He trusted us to do as he said, and it was the only way fer all of us – but of course we couldn't tell him what we wanted to do because he weren't there. Your Pa didn't wanna to go at first, knowin' we were breakin' our word to Grandpa … but it was a hot day an' I insisted we should go because I wanted to see him relax an' finally he agreed.

"So, we went to the river and we had a great time. The sun was high above, letting the water sprinkle and glitter like diamonds as it flowed over the rocks, and we were in the water and felt the current pull at our feet and legs. We had to stay near the bank where the current weren't that strong, but it was excitin' nonetheless …," Hoss took a deep breath as he remembered. He had long since stopped seeing the walls of the room, but instead conjured up the beauty and magic of that day.

"Your Pa was happy then, splashing me with water, teaching me how to skip rocks and ..."

"That's why you're so good?" Jamie interrupted excitedly. "My Pa taught you?" His face gleamed with pride.

Hoss winked. "Yeah, but don't tell Uncle Joe. He still thinks he's the best." He grinned when Jamie solemnly shook his head, then pulled the boy to his side.

"He built a water mill for me, and we lay on the rock an' watched the fish search for food. I think maybe he was happier than he had been in a long time, because I still remember how surprised I was when he laughed out loud … I hadn't heard him laugh in a very long time …

"And then … then we must have forgotten the time, because when I turned around to get more stones for skippin', I saw Grandpa watching us from the bank."

"Oh," Jamie frowned, and Hoss could see the thoughts flashing in his mind. "What did he do?"

"Nothing." Hoss smiled at the memory. "Just watched us. I know he did because he smiled at me an' I knew he weren't mad. But then I gave your Pa a nudge and told him that Grandpa was there and he froze right solid where he was. Must have remembered that he didn't do his chores like he was supposed ta do, because for the longest time he jus' stared at Grandpa as though he was a ghost or somethin'…"

Hoss broke off. Too clearly he saw his brother's shocked face, remembered too clearly his own confusion and the feeling of helplessness that had swept over him. The soft tug on his shirt brought him back to reality and he blinked.

"What happened?" Jamie's golden eyes were dark with apprehension.

"He slipped on the rock." Ben spoke from the doorway.

Hoss felt Jamie start in his arms, but he just watched quietly when his grandfather came into the room and sat down on the bed. Wearily Ben smiled at Jamie, but the smile never reached his eyes.

"When I couldn't find your Pa and uncle at home, I went looking for them. By the time I reached the river, I was afraid something had happened to them, thought they had drowned …" Ben drew a shuddering breath, and Hoss winced, knowing how much that day had cost his father.

"Then I saw them … and they were playing. And I just stood and watched them, convinced I had never seen the two of them so happy."

Ben glanced up, giving Hoss a lopsided grin, but his son could still see the fear lurking in the depths of his eyes as he continued to recount what had happened that afternoon.

"Then your Pa noticed I was there. First he just looked at me …and then he took a step backwards, lost his balance and fell into the river."

Jamie let out a sigh almost too soft to hear, but Hoss caught it. So did Ben. He trained his dark eyes on the troubled amber ones in front of him.

"When he fell, he hit his head against a rock just beneath the surface, and banged his arm and back." Ben paused for a second, staring at his hands in his lap, but Hoss knew that in his mind he saw a time long ago, a river with water like diamonds, and two small boys, enjoying life.

"Watching them playing, so carefree and unconcerned, gave me the greatest joy. But when I saw him fall it was one of the most terrible moments of my life."

Ben swallowed and cast down his eyes, remembering the horrible scene that had nearly cost him his son. When Jamie launched himself into his arms, he almost drew back in surprise before he tightened his hold around the small body.

Jamie buried his face in his grandfather's shirt. "I didn't know, Grandpa." He lifted his head and looked at Ben, his eyes shining with remorse. "I'm sorry."

"Oh lad…," Ben was at a loss for words. "It's okay. You couldn't have known."

For another moment he held on tight, then brushed the damp curls with his hand. "Do you think it was just by chance?"

When he felt Jamie nod against him, he went on.

"Neither of us did what we should have done that day. Your Pa didn't do his chores, and he didn't tell me where he went. Your Uncle," Ben looked up and saw Hoss blushing, "persuaded your Pa to go swimming. And if I hadn't startled him, perhaps he wouldn't have slipped."

Jamie freed himself and looked up at Ben, his gaze grave and serious. "You saved him, Grandpa."

Again Ben met Hoss' eyes and felt his mouth twitch when he saw his son shake his head.

"That I did. I think I never moved that fast again in my whole life."

He turned back to Jamie.

"I want you to always tell either your uncles or me where you're going. Do you understand that?" He smiled when the dark head nodded empathically, making the strands dance.

"I will, Grandpa."

"Good boy." Ben gave Jamie another hug, then gently set him down onto the bed.

"Time for you to get some sleep."

"But …"

Ben grinned despite himself.

"No buts, Jamie. It's already late and …," he glanced at Hoss who just made to get up and smiled, "your uncle still has to tell you a bedtime story."

Ignoring the look Hoss sent him, Ben tenderly tugged his grandson in and bade him good night before he made his way over to the door.

"Grandpa?" Jamie's sleepy voice held him back.

"Hm?"

"It wasn't your fault."

For a second, Ben stared at the dark golden eyes, not knowing what to say. Helplessly he looked at Hoss for guidance, but his son just shrugged, obviously as shaken as he felt himself. Softly he cleared his throat.

"No, I suppose not."

Gently he smiled at his grandson.

"You say hello to your father in your dreams, lad."

But Jamie was already asleep.

xxx

the end


	12. Edge

Edges

xxx

"It's ... c-cold..."

Joe thought he could actually hear his brother's teeth chatter, but he just tightened his grip on Adam's shoulders. Their seat was already a precarious one, perched on the boulder as they were, and the small ledge above offered almost no protection from the harsh wind.

Adam shivered again, more violently this time, then coughed lowly. Joe could sense the heat emaciating from him, but all he could do at the moment was to keep his brother as quiet as possible.

It wasn't at all an easy task. The stony coldness from the rock beneath them rose slowly into his bones, with no chance of escape. Adam's fever-glowing head on his thigh gave him some kind of warmth, but Joe didn't want to think of how it had to be for his brother who was forced to lay on the freezing ground, full-length.

"C…c..cold."

"I know." Again Joe tried to tighten his hold, but Adam was already shivering so violently that he had to use all his strength to keep his brother from moving. Concerned, he threw a quick look at the tourniquet around Adam's thigh, but the bandage held for now. For the umpteenth time Joe inwardly cursed fate for giving him this stubborn son of a mule for a brother, who not only insisted on riding out in the late autumn mist with a fever, but who also managed to rile a steer so much that the ornery beast went straight for the intruder.

Slowly, Joe shook his head. It had happened so fast that he had actually to concentrate to remember the sequence of events - but he knew he wouldn't forget the look of surprise on Adam's face when the steer charged him anytime soon. Nor would he forget the vision of his brother falling over the cliff and the sickening crunch of the three bodies that followed.

Adam had tried to turn the cattle back from the ledge they had come dangerously close to, but nothing could have prepared him for the small, sturdy steer that charged at him from one second to the next. Its sharp horns had gored Adam's leg and sent him straight over the edge.

His brother had been unconscious when they got to him, the breath knocked out from him in the fall and his leg bleeding freely. It was very likely that he had broken or at least cracked some ribs as well, Joe thought grimly, but their first concern had been to stop the severe bleeding before it took Adam's life. Joe knew that the hands had put the steer and the unfortunate cowpony that his brother had been riding this morning out of their misery; somewhere in his subconscious he remembered shots disturbing the silence.

But it was Adam he worried about.

Joe's cold hands fumbled again with the tourniquet, the blood on his hands already dry and cracking in the sharp wind. Above on the ledge he thought he could hear shouting and hoped they would hurry.

Adam, eyes squinted tight against the pain and skin the colour of ash, moaned softly when his trembling jostled his leg. Joe gripped his hands.

"Think of... something warm." Joe groped madly for any straw to hold on. "Think of home … soon you'll be warm and comfortable in bed … and you'll see Becky again…"

Joe felt the snort more than he heard it.

"…kill me …" The raspy, pain-filled voice of his brother was hardly louder than the wind.

"She promised? No wonder after what you did to your leg last time." Joe chuckled softly, but the shiver that ran down his spine had nothing to do with the cold. It didn't matter. Adam's hands had already loosened their grip, his body gone limp before he could answer.

Joe shifted uncomfortably on the ground, then turned his head into the wind and listened.

He only hoped the others would hurry.

xxx

the end


	13. Marriage bed

A new bit featuring Adam and Becky.

WARNING: This bit is rated NC-17

xxx

Quickly Adam slipped into bed behind his wife, shivering all over from the cold that crept into the room from all corners, despite the little heat still coming off the wall that backed the chimney. Shaking, he reached out and tucked in the blankets to prevent any warmth from escaping, then snuggled deeper into the pillows and curled his weary and frozen body around his wife to thaw. He grinned when he heard her moan in protest as his icy feet connected with her legs, but nevertheless rubbed his hands to get a little warmth back into them before he tried to touch her.

He needn't have bothered, though. As soon as she felt her husband behind her, Rebecca wriggled backward towards him, nestling her behind on his thighs with a deep satisfied groan before she pushed herself backwards against Adam's chest.

Adam inhaled sharply when he felt her soft curves snuggle against him and the gentle roundness of her buttocks urging his hot flesh, realizing suddenly that she wasn't wearing a nightshirt on purpose.

For a second he wasn't sure, but then he felt her hand caress him again, reaching backwards to draw him closer and satisfy her need, and without further thought he drew his arms around her, let them glide over her sides, hot and yearning, over the prominent curve of her womb, over his child inside her, his loins aching with the longing he had for her.

Reaching up with one hand he caressed her breast that lay full and swollen in his palm, and with the other moved downward towards the warm cleft between her legs where he sensed the heat pulsating. He felt her shudder in his arms, heard the low moan that grew from deep inside her, and for a second he paused, trying to catch his breath and mind.

"I …don't … think …,"he muttered huskily, hardly able to speak with the blood rushing behind his eyes and in his abdomen, but Becky led his hand back down to the soft wet centre between her legs.

"Don't think …," she demanded, panting heavily, then turned around and huddled her glowing body against his, and Adam closed his eyes in ecstasy when he felt the heavy swelling of her belly touch his stomach, knowing his erection would enter her if she pressed herself just an inch closer. His hands roamed over her body, touching, caressing her back, but when he felt her small fingers stroke his groin, stroke the arousal burning between his legs, he lost all thoughts that had held him back, and exhaling heavily, took hold of Becky's hips and thrust into her, stimulated even more when he felt her arch against him, heard the soft moan of agonized pleasure escape her lips.

He pushed once, then stilled, enjoying the bittersweet torment he knew he caused inside her, enjoying her soft whimpering in his ear that urged him on, and the need of his body that he only just tried to hold back for as long as possible. But then she squirmed against him, almost biting his neck when the desire for him to move became too much, and the stirring of her hips and the flaming heat of her body made him lose his mind. Her deep moans demanded the satisfaction of a desire that matched his own, and without any further thought he willingly gave in and let himself fall.


End file.
